Staci's Place: No More Bullies!
Cyberbullying Advice and Tips
What can parents do to prevent
cyberbullying?
Listen to your children. Don't get upset
right away, don't jump to conclusions. Remember that children do not always
see the big picture. Don't blame, don't judge, just listen. Your child is
safe when they are with you. If anger is called for, there will be plenty of
time for that later. If you over-react you may frighten your child and cause
them to clam up in the future. Remember that children often blame themselves
when bullying happens.
Tell your child that you will look into the
situation, that you will see what you can find out. Use
active listening techniques to find out all you
can about what led up to the bullying. Find out how long it has gone on,
where and when it usually occurs. While you want to give your child the
benefit of the doubt, keep in mind that children, just like many adults, do
not always see how their own behavior can trigger reactions in others. They
only see the reaction. Explain the reaction
cycle to your child. Explain to them why they must
ignore the bullies and not react to them.
What not to do:
Never tell a child that it is their
fault they are being bullied! While few cases are absolutely "cut and
dried", and your child may contribute to the
reaction cycle through their
own behavior, they are not to blame for the poor choices of
abusive peers or
teachers.
Never tell your child "If you didn't
react, they wouldn't bully you." There is some truth in this
statement, but it is overly simplistic. What the child hears is "You are too
emotional", "It is your fault" and "Your feelings are inconvenient to me".
Instead, try active listening.
Don't over-react!
If you get overly upset, the next time this happens (and it likely
will), your child may decide it's too risky to tell you. They may fear,
with good cause, that you will decide it is easier to pull the plug, and
they will lose their Internet access as a result.
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